Saturday, February 05, 2005

Gah, I look terrible

Hrruuugh. I just ate a whole pint of coffee ice cream. Before I bought the ice cream, I knew it was a bad idea. I got it anyway and ATE THE ENTIRE THING.

This may have been a mistake.

So while my digestive system panics at this unnecessary and excessive consumption of dairy based dessert, I'm going to write myself a new blog. I'm not sure about what though. I'm kind of in the mood to destroy the world, but I said before that I wouldn't do that. Crushing enemies is okay. But destroying the world just to unburden my sadness? That is for other blogs. And livejournals.

I'm going to try to get a picture soon. Or three. One of them may even have a sword in it; I am a man in need of props. I will probably hold it in a casual and lazy manner, ostensibly to show how cool and indifferent - yet dangerous - I am, but really to avoid demonstrating how completely ignorant I am regarding the weapon's use.

Yes, I did go to a Renaissance Fair once. I still bear the mental scars of its sights and smells. A land entirely filled with verbally abusive folk in ill-fitting "period" costume. Gather the horde, General. Their kind must be purged from the Earth.

On a completely unrelated note, I hate flipflops and if I were a tyrant and a warlord, I would probably condone the practice of slavery. Particularly for people who wear flipflops; they are offensive to me.

Anyway, that's all for now. Tune in next week for the burning of heretics (otherwise known as people who were disagreeable to me) and our annual feature, "Arthur Mundane Gets a Haircut."

7 Comments:

At 2:47 PM, Blogger Steer Pike Pie said...

I often eat an entire pizza by myself and drink an entire case of beer. Your ice cream thing isn't so great, I bet I could eat it.

I also wear flip flops.

Flip.

Flop.

When you hear that sound, Mundane, know it's me.

 
At 6:20 PM, Blogger Arthur Mundane said...

By God, man! Wear some proper shoes! How do expect to stomp and kick ass wearing flimsy shoes made of foam and string?

You can have all my ice cream, if you want it. My digestion seems to have it in for me lately. I may require the services of a private investigator.

 
At 8:20 AM, Blogger Steer Pike Pie said...

I don't want your ice cream now, it's used. You could have saved me some.

Steerpikepie kicks ass barefoot, thus the flip-flops make ass-kicking easier, as they usually fly off with the first kick of ass. Plus he is a well bred boy, who would never stomp!! Curbie maybe, but not stomp!!

 
At 12:50 PM, Blogger Spill The Beans said...

My work has a policy that bans flip flops. In the policy manual, they are referred to as *thongs* which has caused no small amount of merriment amongst the rank and file.

 
At 12:51 PM, Blogger Spill The Beans said...

And, coffee ice cream? That's just wrong. Ice cream should never taste like a breakfast food.

Would you eat sausage and egg ice cream?

 
At 8:36 AM, Blogger Steer Pike Pie said...

I would eat it. I would put catsup on it too. MMMM.

Banning flip flops is the first step. Next they ban ham sandwiches!!! And everyone knows what happens afer that....they force you to speak English all the time!!! Even at home!!!!

 
At 2:35 AM, Blogger Arthur Mundane said...

Why are we talking about ice cream and flip flops and ham sandwiches when I clearly stated that I would condone slavery? I mean, I can't justify that.

 

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